The Fluffy Misadventures of the Magnificent
by LadyAlambiel
Summary: Poor Peter only wanted to lodge a request with one of the authors. Too bad he was going to see the author who happily hit the fluff button...


Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't...

Summary: Poor Peter only wanted to lodge a request with one of the authors. Too bad he was going to see the author who happily hit the fluff button...

A/N: A oneshot requested by WillowDryad. Hope you like it. This is a standalone parody/humor fic, but you will see four familiar faces from a few of my other stories.

**The Fluffy Misadventures of the Magnificent  
**

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Peter and Edmund cautiously opened the door and peeked through the crack, so far the coast was clear. Edmund frowned at Peter, "What if it's a trap? You know how easy it is to end up in one of the truly scary author's assigned spaces here…remember what happened last time?"

Peter shuddered, "Please don't remind me. And, in any case, that doesn't look like a trap. There isn't any creepy giggling coming from around the corner. Now come on or is the Just too scared of fanfiction authors to do anything?"

Edmund glowered at him, "I am not. 'Sides the ones who are simply fascinated by your magnificence-ness tend to ignore me and they scare you." He smirked before Peter could voice a protest then bowed, sweeping his arm out to point down the hall, "After the Magnificent."

Peter drew himself up and entered the hall, looking very kingly (even with his crown being slightly crooked after their earlier mad dash away from a gaggle of screaming fangirls) as he marched down the hall. Edmund followed in a much more relaxed manner, casually holding his crown instead of wearing it (for one never knew when another crowd of fangirls might chase them again). He shook his head as he watched Peter stop in the doorway of one of the authors and wave at her, "I don't know why you have to wave at her when she always does such terrible things to us, well, to me."

"Oh no, I wasn't waving at _her_. She wasn't even in there. I was waving at Petie. Now come on."

The brothers quickly found their way to the correct hall and stopped in front of the door. They could hear the sound of fingers flying across a keyboard. Edmund whispered, "This is a bad idea."

Peter drew himself up again, looking simply magnificent (Edmund simply rolled his eyes in response) and knocked on the door. The sound of typing continued. Peter hesitated then opened the door. The author they, well, he had come to see was still typing away, actually she was starting to type faster. Edmund nudged him then pointed to the white wires connecting the author to her computer. Peter slapped his palm against his forehead (somehow he'd forgotten that this particular author always listens to music when writing) then he and the author both jumped at the sound of a large crash. The author spun her chair around, "Edmund! Don't do that!" She spun her chair back around long enough to save her latest progress, flick to another screen and pause the music, and pull her earphones out before she turned back to Peter and Edmund, "And, what do I owe this visit to this time? And, Edmund, please put my evil villains' box of ideas back where you found it."

She looked at Peter (both of them ignoring Edmund's grumbling about her letting her villains have too much material to work with) and waited expectantly. Peter cleared his throat, "Umm, I was merely wondering if you might find it in the kindness of your heart (here Edmund coughed, "Kiss up.") to write a story where Edmund and I had something good and pleasant and non-life-threatening happen to us instead of a story where we get tormented by various means."

The author leaned back in her chair, "I've left you two alone for most of this story, remember? Actually, you complained about that too and then I wrote those three short stories all about you."

Peter laughed nervously (this most certainly wasn't the reply he'd hoped to receive), "Which were very, um, focused on us, but the focus wasn't as…uh, help me out, Ed?"

"Well, since we both ended up in need of healing again or, in the one case, I ended up in a very embarrassing and highly unnecessary encounter with that Calormene Tarkheena (and must the women who come after me in your stories be so old?), I would say that the focus was very negative and not the least bit good or pleasant or non-life-threatening by any stretch of the imagination." The author and Peter stared at Edmund. He shrugged, "I needed to get that out."

"Apparently so." The author looked up at the ceiling, thinking of how and whether she should go along with Peter's request (and making Peter and Edmund very nervous because of what happened the last time she acted that way), then she straightened, "I've got it! I'll do another cute oneshot with you two and one of the little baby Animals who love you. Do you want Leopards, Raccoons (I know Suki's been missing you, Peter), or Ferrets (Binxie simply adores you as well, Peter)?"

Peter backed away in horror, "No! Uh, I mean, that is I was really hoping you'd write a story where I could just go fishing…by myself…alone…and undisturbed."

Edmund snickered while the author frowned at Peter then grinned, "I'm so glad you came to see me, Peter." She spun her chair around and hit the big red button next to her computer labeled 'Fluff.'

For a moment, nothing happened and then a small section of the wall slid open and out tumbled a black Leopard cub, a little Raccoon kit, and a young Ferret kit. Peter paled when he saw them, "No. They're not the same age, you can't do this!"

The author raised a single finger, "Ah, but this is part of the fanfiction web of character purgatory, I can do anything I want. Shesheta, Suki, Binxie! Look, it's King Peter!"

Three little heads whipped around to see him. Peter paled further. Then Suki shouted, "'Ing Pet! Mine! Mine!" She quickly scrambled up Peter's clothes until she could sit on his shoulder, "'Ing Pet! Mine!" She rubbed her cold nose against his cheek as she flung her arms around his face, accidentally poking him in the eye, and hummed, "Happy! Happy! Happy! 'Ing Pet mine!"

Shesheta and Binxie both ran toward him. Shesheta sinking her claws into his pant leg and purring, "'Ing Err! 'Ing Err! Got!"

Suki let out a wail, "No! 'Ing Pet mine!" She hissed down at the Leopard cub, "Bad! Bad! 'ing Pet mine! Mine! Mine!" She scrambled up onto Peter's head and yanked on his hair, "Mine! 'Ing Pet mine!"

Peter winced, "Ow! Wait, uh, Shesheta come here!"

He picked up the Leopard cub and held her in front of his face. Shesheta giggled, "Got!" She caught his nose between her teeth and pressed her paws against either side of his nose.

Edmund snickered. Peter glared then winced as Suki hissed and let another unhappy wail as she yanked on his hair again, "Edmud, helb! Dey wod led go."

Edmund just laughed harder. Then Peter let out an extremely congested-sounding yelp and started doing a very awkward jig across the room as a lump that could only be Binxie started scurrying up, down, and around inside his pants. "Bidzee, ged oud! Ed! Helb!" Suki yanked on his hair some more and Shesheta let go of his nose long enough to lick it, giggle and then bite it again while Peter continued jumping around trying to shake Binxie out of his pant leg.

Edmund bent over double, placing his hands on his knees, as he laughed even harder at his brother's dilemma. The author grinned then hit the button labeled 'Menace' before she settled back to watch the show. Edmund was still laughing when something hard bounced off his head, "Ow! What- Oh no."

"Duht! 'Ing Emu!" Atuki waved at Edmund when he looked up then he threw another shiny object and bounced it off the top of Edmund's skull. "Duht! 'Ing Emu! S'iny! Duht!" The Raccoon kit pelted Edmund with a number of hard, shiny objects of various sizes and weights as the Just King futilely tried to hide or at least protect his head. Meanwhile, Peter continued to half-jump, half-dance around the room while Suki chattered and hissed at Shesheta (who still hadn't let go of his nose) and Binxie continued running around (and occasionally nibbling) inside Peter's pants. Atuki made a flying leap onto Edmund's head and yanked on his hair, "Duht!" Then he scrambled down inside Edmund's tunic. The author fell out of her chair laughing at the sight of the Magnificent and the Just doing a strange hybridization of the Chicken Dance meets the Macarena.

Finally, the author rescued the two kings from their furry admirers (if only because the little bebbehs were obviously getting tired and she really did need to get back to work on her other story). Peter glared at her with his hair sticking up in odd directions and his nose covered in tiny teeth marks and slightly swollen before he grabbed Edmund by the sleeve (whose eyes had swollen shut thanks to Atuki's pelting him with hard, shiny objects) and led his brother out the door. She snickered when she heard both kings yelp in dismay at the same time a score of rabid fangirls squealed, "Look! They've been dumped in flangst! They're so SQUEEEEEEEE! Get them!"

"And, my work here is done." She turned back to her computer, clicked open the appropriated screens, then went back to typing as she listened to another sweeping film score. Well…she did take the time to send off one message: _Guess what just happened to Peter and Edmund….you're going to love it._

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**A/N: Please Read and Review!  
**


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